As parents we all want to do our best for our children. Many people believe that fighting the children's other parent in the courts for more time with the children is the way to do this. Sadly this only fuels the Alienation and makes the problem worse.
The cost of going to Court is extreme with Barristers costing several thousands of dollars a day. If you take into account Lawyers and Barristers are often needed for each side of the custody case as well as Lawyers and Barristers for the children plus the Judge and all the Court support staff, every day of Court action consumes enough money to feed dozens of starving children in developing countries for an entire year. Before you think of Court action, consider that any money you can give to starving children in Africa will help children so much more than going to Court in Australia.
By not spending your money on the Court system for your child you are actually helping them.
Look to change your whole mindset to Divorce and parenting after Divorce. Try the methodology sugested by retired Family Court Judge Michele Lowrance in her book titled 'The Good Karma Divorce'. Not only has Her Honour seen thousands of divorces from the bench side of the dispute she has seen it from the child's perspective (as a child of divorce herself) and a spouse's perspective (she divorced twice herself).
It is claimed that 100 percent of couples over 4 years who tried Her Honour's suggested practices avoided going to trial. The reviews on Amazon and elsewhere on the net place this book in a totally different category to any othe book dealing with the same topic. See: https://www.amazon.com/Good-Karma-Divorce-Litigation-Negative/dp/0061840718
Which have been assessed by various bodies as very effectively delivering aid to families in developing countries which of course helps children:
This organisation scores highly in various assessments and has been considered worthy by the Gates Foundation to be given very generous funding by them.
The good thing with this charity is they concentrate on giving animals to help children in developing countries. The animals give lasting benefit to feed and nourish the children. When you pay your money you know how many animals will be given to the children.
UNITED NATIONS POPULATION FUND
Conventional Counselling and therapy for Parental Alienation is at quite an early stage of development and unlikely to break the 'spell' of Parental Alienation in severe cases unless supported by Court enforcable actions of non contact. If there is an inadequate period of time excluding any contact with the Alienator the child is likely to have a relapse. See Amy Baker (4 minutes).
Other experts that you can hire to help you include, custody coaches, Parental Alienation Consultants and divorce consultants such as:
Joseph Goldberg – Goldberg & Associates
These will often help you remotely over the internet.
Anything you can do to ensure you have outside guidance to make sure that you are emotionally mature will help you through this process.
If you want to spend more time with your children explore alternative ways outside the court system such as you can learn from participating in one of Ryan Thomas's many programs (see site links page) which are either free or at a very low cost.
Be kind and thoughtful giving your own children gifts but don't go overboard giving them money and expensive gifts because it could be money wasted. You don't know:
-whether the gift you send will be received by your child;
-whether the gift you send is the kind of thing they want;
-whether the clothing and shoes you give them are the right size;
-whether the money or gifts you gave will be converted into money and used by the Alienator;
-whether the gift you give will be treated with derision by the Alienating Parent and therefore shunned by your child;
-whether the Alienating parent will damage the gift or allow it to fall in disrepair.
Save your money and be sensible with it so you can help children in developing countries so much more than you can in Australia.
There are a number of sites particularly in the US that rank charities so it is worth checking out a raft of these before giving money to a charity.
Ones we have seen that look really good are:
This organisation helps with all sorts reproductive issues in developing countries. This is important because to us in western countries many of these mothers are so young that we think of them as children. Anything that can be done to help:
-young mothers from dying in child birth
-mothers passing AIDS on to their babies
will help children and is appreciated.
They collect money to sponsor orphans who loose a parent through death and war. The taxpayer subsidised cost of artificially removing one parent from the life of a child in Australia is probably enough to keep thousands of Orphans children alive in war torn and developing countries.