Child's Best Interests

'CHILD'S BEST INTEREST' !!!!!!!!!!!!

Various people in the Government system or the family of the Alienator may have decided either by action or inaction that a child should only live with one parent and have little or no contact with the other parent and they have decided this, 'is in the best interests of the child'. How can they possibly say this. Have they thought about, let alone objectively even considered a tiny fraction of the issues. Have they explained to anyone their thoughts. Was an independent expert given the chance to review their thoughts. Was a written report of all of this shown to both parents, their siblings and parents. Was this report put aside for the child to see when they were old enough to ask why they were deprived of a mother or father ? Were the names of all the people who were involved in the decision clearly written down with the report.

SOLE CUSTODY GENERALLY

What were the motivating factors of the parent seeking sole custody (financial issues, revenge, insecurity, lack of self esteem, free legal help, adversarial legal system, family members or friends, own family history, lack of emotional or mental maturity, personality or psychological disorders, self interest such as wanting to move location).

What was the psychological assessment of the parent seeking sole custody.

Children will have less support and help for school and homework.

Children will have less support and help for sports.

Children will have less support and help for artistic pursuits such as drama, music etc.

Children will receive less gifts.

Children will miss the joy of spending special occasions with more parents and family.

Children receive less support for camps and excursions.

Boys will miss the closeness of a male parent who enjoys similar things such as sports.

Girls will miss the closeness of a female parent who enjoys similar things such as clothing shopping.

Girls will feel more comfortable with sharing developments about menstruation with a female parent than with a male parent.

Boys will feel more comfortable with sharing developments about male body issues such as shaving with a male parent than with a female parent.

Both genders will have trouble with developing their own gender roles if they don't have a male and female parent in their life.

There is a negative impact on the children of forming relationships in later life.

There is an increased likelihood of marriages failing in later life.

More chance of parent burn out.

Need to rely on friends and other family members to help.

Have procedures and monitoring been put in place to ensure the custodial parent fosters contact, love and respect to the other parent.

Is the parent seeking sole custody prepared to pay the entire cost of the legal system and every government agency that has been involved in the application.

Much higher risk of Parental Alienation occurring than Joint Custody.


PARENTAL ALIENATION

Do the assessors know what Parental Alienation is.

Have the assessors had training about Parental Alienation at University.

Do these assessors know whether Parental Alienation is happening.

How could an assessor know whether Parental Alienation is happening if it was happening out of sight/knowledge of other people.

Do these assessors know whether the children have rolled over to Parental Alienation Dynamics (ie Syndrome).

Do these assessors know how common PAD is in sole parent families that have had Family Court involvement.

Do these assessors know all the problems caused by PAD.

Do these assessors know how long PAD will last.

Do these assessors have a plan for reversing PAD.

What is the plan for reversing PAD.

Has money being put aside for the cost of reversing PAD.

Has a legal process with enforcement powers been put aside to reverse PAD.

What is the success rate for reversing PAD with the plan they have chosen.

The impact on self esteem of Alienated Children because every time the Alienatator bad mouths the other parent in front of the child this makes them feel bad because they are half of that other parent.

The effect on self esteem because the child will not feel wanted when the Targeted Parent and extended family do not attend to special events such as birthdays, school events, sport events, artistic and cultural events.

What about the effect on Psychological development on children of being taught hatred at such a young age.

What about the lower academic achievement levels for PAD children.

What about the lower income levels of PAD children.

What about the increased levels of depression of PAD children.

What about the negative impact (greater than in sole parenthood) on the children of forming relationships in later life.

What about the increased (greater than in sole parenthood) likelihood of marriages failing in later life than if cared for by a non PAD parent.

What about the much greater likelihood of transference of negative psychological disorders such as Narcissism to these children.

What about the conditioning that it is OK to tell lies from watching the behaviour of the Narcissistic parent they were brought up with.

What about the conditioning that it is OK to spy on your close family to cause them trouble with the authorities even though they are good people.

What about the sadness about not knowing and spending time with their extended family of grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins.

Children will receive much less gifts from the TP and extended family.

What about the increased health risks of not knowing inherited family health problems.

What about the much greater likelihood of PAD occurring in families of these children.

Do they have any concern for the welfare of other children whose parents will be encouraged to alienate their kids when they hear how easy it was to do with these children.

CAN THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE A ROLE TO PLAY IN WIPING OUT CONTACT OF A CHILD WITH ONE PARENT OBJECTIVELY ANSWER THE ABOVE QUESTIONS IN SUPPORT OF WHAT THEY WANT TO DO ? – THE ANSWER IS NO

ON AVERAGE MORE THAN 1 CHILD IN EVERY CLASSROOM NEVER GETS TO SEE ONE OF THEIR PARENTS

Caring appropriately for a child requires a lot of emotional intelligence. Some parents will be deficient in emotional intelligence from time to time, however when the child is cared for as a couple a lot of these problems are negated. Once you get down to parenting by one parent there is no check on bad parental behaviour. If you add to this the lower performance indicators for children of single parents such as educational achievement, stability in relationships (when these children become adults) an increased likelihood for depression, suicide etc of which the data is widely published, single parenthood is not a good option. This option becomes significantly worse when you consider that many parents with sole custody of their children are embittered at the other parent over their divorce which they take out on their kids and many also have mental health issues.


The statistical performance of the current system bears this out :

-Of the 5.2 million children aged 0 to 17 years in 2012-13 in Australia, 1.1 million (21%) had a natural parent living elsewhere

-28 % of the children aged 0-17, 308,000 saw their other parent less than once per year or never

-5 % of the children aged 0-17, 55,000 saw their other parent not every 6 months but at least once per year

-3 % of the children aged 0-17, 33,000 saw their other parent not every 3 months but at least every 6 months

-8 % of the children aged 0-17, 88,000 saw their other parent not monthly but at least every 3 months

-6 % of the children aged 0-17, 66,000 saw their other parent not fortnightly but at least every month

-19 % of the children aged 0-17, 209,000 saw their other parent not weekly but at least every fortnight

-26 % of the children aged 0-17, 286,000 saw their other parent not daily but at least every week

-5 % of the children aged 0-17, 55,000 saw their other parent daily

-52 % of the children aged 5-14, 572,000 stayed overnight with their other parent less than once per year

http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/mf/4442.0

5.5 % of Australian children ie one in every 18 children see one of their parents less than once a year. So in an AVERAGE SCHOOL CLASSROOM THERE WILL BE MORE THAN 1 CHILD WHO FOR ALL PRACTICAL PURPOSES NEVER GETS TO SEE ONE OF THEIR PARENTS !

In simple terms, if you live in a city the size of Perth at least 20,000 children go for a year or more without seeing one of their parents. In a city the size of Sydney approximately 50,000 children go for a year or more without seeing one of their parents.

Research was done into parenting patterns after separation in Australia by Bruce Smyth in 2005 as part of his PhD. Parental conflict, the Family Court system and Parental Alienation featured highly in reasons why so many children were cut off from having contact with one of their parents. Most of the relevant information of this lengthy report is on pages, 1-7 and 70-92.

Following are a couple of key comments of interest:

Oh, my lawyer told me not to tell you but we’re leaving tomorrow night. And so that’s the last time I saw him' . . . . page 76

I separated when Amber was ten months old and my ex husband only took her once. And, of course, she was very sensitive. She was tiny at that stage as well, but she’s pretty perceptive and she screamed the whole time. He was with his sister who hadn’t had children at that stage so it was the “blind leading the blind”. She was promptly brought back and that was it. That was it.” page 78

'I know it sounds bitchy but sometimes they [the children] can be better off and better settled if they don’t have that disruption.' page 87

My younger daughter, Maya, lives with her mother, and has been in and out of hospital, the mental health unit, for about the last 12 months. And it’s been suggested by her mother that it’s my fault – that I’m not having any contact with her, out of Maya’s choice. And the reason I believe it’s occurring – and it’s backed up by what the daughter who lives with me, Karen, says too – is actually it’s what her mother is saying to them, and her [the mother’s] own inability to deal with the separation which occurred 12 years ago, and to face some of the issues.” page 88

'I never call them at home. She doesn’t want that . . . We do have email contact. It’s very infrequent . . . If they call me and I can’t talk to them for any reason, you know, I’ll always call them back on their mobiles because I know I’ll get them rather than getting her on the phone.” page 88

IS THIS HOW WE SHOULD TEACH OUR KIDS TO ACT  ?DS TO ACT !